This Day

"When in doubt, choose the kids.  There will be plenty of time later to choose the work." 

~ Anna Quindlen

Today was my last day of working outside the home.  Tomorrow I start in my "new position", as a Stay-at-Home-Mama to my four baby boys.  (Squeeeeeeeee!)

25-26 weeks

I'm getting so behind on my updates, so here's a recap as I'm on the brink of ending my 25th week, and beginning my 26th:

Pregnancy Highlights - Feeling the baby move more and more, starting to feel a little rolling action and feet/hands in my hips or under my ribs.  So cool!  I'm feeling generally great too, with the exception of being tired still, but I'm not complaining.


How Far Along:  ending 25/beginning 26 weeks

Total Weight Gain/Loss:  Umm...I think around 22 lbs so far, which is way better than any of my previous three pregnancies at this point!  I'll be happy if I stay under a 40 lb weight gain...

Maternity Clothes:  Oh yes, please!  Much more comfortable and fit better overall.  Although, I've started to outgrow a few items without stretch (jeans) and some of the shirts I have aren't long enough on me, so I don't prefer to wear them.  I really hate outgrowing maternity clothes -- way to make a girl feel really great about herself at such a vulnerable time in life....ah well, I know the weight will come off, eventually...

Gender: Can you believe we didn't find out for our fourth baby?! We're TEAM GREEN! And it's making everyone who knows us absolutely crazy!!! For what it's worth, I am feeling "BOY"...

Movement:  Definitely!  LOVE IT.  The baby is a great sleeper, and doesn't wake me or keep me up at night :)  Most active times are first thing in the morning, around 8-10 PM, and any time after I eat!  I love this time of pregnancy - it's like sharing a secret between just the two of us.  I've started to see a little bit of movement on the outside now too, which is also incredible!

Sleep:  doing great in this area too. I've always had a super-bladder too, so mostly I sleep through the night without having to get up to pee.  I'm glad for that too, because once I wake up in the night, I have a difficult time getting back to sleep.  I generally sleep about 8-10 hours a night, though recently I've been staying up a bit too late for my own liking.....I suppose I'm preparing for what's ahead when it comes to third trimester: snooze-fests and sleeping through the few "favorite shows" that I do have, on the couch beginning at 8 PM, haha!!

What I miss:  Nothing really....a glass of wine or a beer with dinner or snacks, I guess.  I had a sip of Tim's MGD the other day, and oh yum....I'm looking forward to having one of those again some day! 

Cravings:  Not too much at this point.  Sometimes I'll get really intense cravings for salads with tomatoes and cucumbers, and italian dressing and parmesan cheese.  Just typing that out makes me want one!  I love to eat, but have been attempting to keep it under control and just enjoy everything "in moderation" -- this helps with the weight gain, excessive spending (from buying coffees, fast foods, and junk), and with me feeling fairly great vs. just okay.

Symptoms:  Stuffy nose, lower back pain when I've "overdone it", shortness of breath, some difficulty in being over.  But truly, overall I really do feel amazing! 

Best Moment this week:  Starting to look forward to organizing and rearranging for The Newbie to move in -- still in the planning stages, but I definitely have a list!  It's fun to keep things relatively simple: it helps the time go by faster, and also to keep things in perspective about the baby not "needing" a lot of things, and also that life will return to a "new normal" once s/he arrives! 
I'm also trying to sort out my feelings about what's best for our family regarding my working after baby comes: working PT, FT, or SAHM all-together.  This is both an exciting and a daunting task, and an entire post for another day...stay tuned.


And apparently, uploading photos here takes an incredible amount of time, so I'll try again another day....ETA:  Here's one I copied from FB.  Apparently I can't upload directly to my blog....

Baby #4 - 24 weeks

Surviving

So I'm back at work. And to be honest, the transition so far has been smooth sailing. Granted, I'm exhausted, but I was before I went back too! There is no rest for the weary in motherhood, I'm afraid. I've come to accept that this time around (third time's a charm, apparently!) that I will be tired to the bone more often than not. And I.am.tired. But, truth be told, I'm enjoying my children that much more because of my attitude.
Wow. I digress.
Yes, I'm back at work. My schedule has been great - full day in the office, half day in the office, full day working from home, and half day in the office. Not too shabby. And next week is a short one due to Thanksgiving - we are closed Thursday and Friday.
We are blessed: my in-laws have been a tremendous help with this transition, certainly without them, it would be much harder on all of us. Tim started work from home this week ~ Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays he is pluggin' away in our basement office, and we are in search of a Mother's Helper (or in this case, Father's) type of a person to come in and help with the boys so they can have someone totally devoted to them. For now, my FIL & MIL are bridging the gap as well as taking Wednesdays ~ they are retired, and wanting to help (my BIL & SIL and nieces just moved out of state, I know they are grieving this loss) it continues to build the boys' relationship with their grandparents - something I was not able to have with my own grandparents growing up. I will say it again: we are blessed!
My parents are also still going to take the boys on Mondays, and Tuesday mornings my mom and Jacob will go to here. I guess there is an infant and a 2-year-old program starting in January, so Wyatt might join them. Nathaniel could go too, but that's a lot on my mom to try to lug the three of them out solo. ;)

***

In other news, I've been able to cloth diaper the younger 2 on a more consistent basis. I'll admit I don't do it 100% (not at night, not always at naps, not all the time when we're out), but do it as often as I can, and am definitely enjoying it - it's a fun challange for the frugal mama in me. I am definitely cutting down on our output of paper diapers & wipes (3.in.diapers.seriously) and Wyatt's been telling me more often when he's wet or dirty. I keep saying we're getting a 2-for-1 deal on potty training, because Wyatt seems like he's way more eager to learn the skill than his big brother. Hmph!

AND - Score for Mama: all 3 boys are napping in their respective beds this afternoon!

Stay tuned, more pictures & updates to come....Happy Thursday!

Seven

Can someone tell me where my tiny newborn went?

Nathaniel, you have grown into an infant in the blink of an eye. 7 weeks have flown by, my sweet third baby.

At 7 weeks, you are still so easy going. You sleep, eat, smile, coo, and occasionally get fussy. You L-O-V-E your big brothers and your Daddy. You don't necessarily care for a wet or dirty diaper, but have little to say about the subject. You are wearing size 1 diapers, but I'm not buying another package in that size ~ you're growing quickly! I'm also trying to cloth diaper you (and Wyatt) as much as possible. And trying to potty train your biggest brother. Trying is the operative word here :)
You are wearing size 3-6 month clothes, mostly, with some 0-3s still. You have really big feet! And the sweetest smile....with "happy eyes" and coos to match.
You love to sleep in your swing or on my chest, but do well in the bassinet by our bed at night. You (mostly) love the sling, and are very agreeable to being toted around all over the place.
You have a short fussy time in the evenings, between 8-10 PM, but it seems to be fading out some. You will now go down for bed and sleep your first stretch for 4-5 hours. Now if only I would learn to go to bed when you do...
Both of your big brothers are smitten with you. I don't think they realize there was ever a time that you were not here. Neither do I, my love.

Your Dad & I have a lot of big decisions to make in the near future, Nate. Decisions that will affect finances, emotions, and care for you 3 boys. It's overwhelming at times, but it's also very exciting. We have a lot of possibilities, and carving out what's best for our family is a struggle. We want to provide for you, but also take into account nurturing you all. We're praying that God guides us to His plan for our family.

I love you, sweet boy. I am enjoying your babyhood, and wishing to savor every moment that I can. It's all going by much too quickly.

With all my heart,
Mama

(I'm attempting to upload pictures, but it's taking forever and/or I can't figure out blogger!)

On Being a SAHM

I don't want to go back to work! I'm 6 weeks into my maternity leave (my company provides 12 weeks of FMLA) and I want to figure out how to be at home with my babies.

I have enjoyed the time at home: being the main caretaker for my boys, making meals, cooking dinners, doing household work (okay..not so much the last one...with the exception of laundry, ha ha), and doing lots of things of things with my boys without feeling guilty (going to the park, playdates, over to my parents' houses)! I have hardly thought about work, and I don't feel bad.

So...how do we get there? How do I quit my job, cutting our income in half, and give up our free benefits?

Don't get me wrong...I enjoy my job ~ I have a flexible schedule, and can work from home part of the time. But....I am always left feeling guilty. Guilty because I am working and not engaging my kids 100%. Guilty because I'm not working as much as I could. Guilty because I'm not caring for my boys all of the time. Guilty because I enjoy getting out of the house and keeping my foot in the door of my career.

And we have an ideal child care situation: family. My parents take a day, my in-laws take a day, and my SIL was taking the other 2 days (work from home one day). Except...my SIL is now moving out of state. In 30 days. And I can't ask our parents to step in to take another day of the week each, well, because...they have lives too! So....we will be seeking the care of a stranger for our boys, in a month or so. I am researching websites such as:
www.sitters.com and www.sittercity.com and www.nannies4hire.com . I am also seeking out leads of people we sort-of-know-but-not-really-well who might be looking for work. But not willingly. Not without my heart breaking. Not by choice.

And Tim is interviewing for a new position. That might be more money. That might allow all of this to happen without hesitation. But I'm trying not to think about it. I don't want to get my hopes up, bank on it, and then have it all fall through. Cause that would be the way of it with his work...

So, now what? Where do we go from here?

I guess to check my e-mail to see if I got any hits on my job postings at said websites....and to hope that something will fall in to my lap, you know, like a winning lottery ticket.