3

Nate,

It's your Golden Birthday! 

Happy 3rd Birthday, my sweet boy!



My passionate, funky, fiery, charming, funny, sweet, loving, quick-running, adorable, truck/train/"digger"-loving, book-reading, sandbox loving, self-potty training, third-born babe:

I love you SO much!

I am so blessed to have you in my life.  I am so blessed to be your mama!

I thank God for the joy you bring to my life every day.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Nathaniel Jude.

Love, Mama

2

My dearest Nathaniel Jude,

Happy Birthday, my darling third-born son!

September 3, 2009 ~ approximately 1 hour old

Today, you are 2!  Gone are your baby days, you are a full-blown toddler now! 

It's amazing to think of all that you have accomplished in the past year: learning to walk, getting your teeth in, continuing to grow your vocabulary, forming relationships with your brothers, and becoming a Big Brother, just to name a few. 

October 2009, 6 weeks old

Nate, you are such an awesome addition to our family. 

You help us to take ourselves less seriously (you are quite the comedian), you quicken our footsteps (and the climber/jumper/fearless one), and you remind us of the importance of all the little things in life (like how to smash "buggies" and to "wook at the gaw-bage g-wucks!"). 

February 2010, 5 months old

You test our hearing (and often-times we wonder if you are hard of it?  But no...you're just LOUD!), sometimes our patience (you are after all, turning two), and our attention (you can carry on a conversation about every.single.happening.all.the.way.to.the.grandparents'.houses.and.back ~ 25+ mintues each way!  (We like to say you "narrate the entire ride", because well, you do!)

April 2011, 19 months old

You are a ray of sunshine, a breath of fresh air, and a tender-hearted soul.  You love your two big brothers, affectionately known as "Gibitz and Wy-Ditt", and have seamlessly transitioned into the role of Big Brother in a way that has surprised us all.  You love Your Baby "Eh-bett" so!  You are always asking to hold him, smiling at him and saying, "Hiiiiiiii!" when either of you wake up, getting him toys, watching out for his "puke, Mommy, he puke!", and generally loving on him.  We still occasinoally have to remind you to be gentle, as E doesn't generally love having his eyes/nose/lips/ears/head squeezed/poked/prodded/pressed.  But we know that both Wyatt and you survived as the babies, and that E will too :)

May 2011 Nate, 20 months, "kissing" Everett, 2 months

At two, you love trucks, trains, and most recently, books.  You will line up every car that we own along the window in the living room - sometimes this takes several lines, as we have a lot of cars!  You will run trains along the tracks for hours with your big brothers - you tell me about freight cars, and when they go under tunnels.  You are so proud of yourself when you read books, especially when "I read da Bye-bull, Mommy, I read the Bye-bull!".  You also run, get dirty, and throw a ball.  All of which you are very good at! 

May 2011, 20 months

We call you Nate, Nater, Nate-Dawg, Nathaniel Jude, Natey-Nate, and Blonde Ambition.  You are by far our smallest boy at this age - as you are still wearing some 12-18 and 18-24 month clothes still,  along with a 2T.  You and Everett can share size 3 diapers!  In May, you were 21.5 lbs (at 20 months) and the doctor tossed around the term "failure to thrive" if you didn't gain some weight - so we worked hard on getting you to eat - anything, and a lot of it!  You successfully gained over 3 lbs in 3 months, and in July you were 24.5 lbs.  (insert big sigh of relief here).  We call you "no-butt" because you basically have none. 

Oh sweet, Nate.  I cherish every moment I have with you.  I know how quickly time passes, and before we know it, gone will be the days of piggy back rides, tickle/tackle wars, and endless belly-laughter. 

June 2011, 21 months

August 2011, 23 months

On your birthday, and every day, I love you.

Mama

Brothers, Friends

It's amazing to watch them grow...

from babies into toddlers,

and toddlers into preschoolers and Kindergartners,

and all the while,

from brothers into best friends. 


It makes me excited to see what's up and coming for these guys!

It's the Little Things

There is so much I want to write, to capture the moments of my life as it is right now.  How there is so much craziness, but also?  So much love!  So much life!  And oooohh, so much laundry.  Which I should currently be folding....I digress.

Jacob - is learning to spell words, can sound some out on his own.  It is neat to see how the wheels in his head are turning, and the "ah-ha!" moment when he gets it right.  We have been watching a small fair being built at the church down our street.  Yesterday was the first day it was open.  We stood in a parking lot across the street, and he just soaked it all in.  He was enamored by the lights, sounds, and how each ride worked.  He LOVES to play with Wyatt, and they giggle so much together ~ especially at rest/quiet/bed time.  Ha.  They have bunk beds and goof around for a good half an hour before....silence. 

Wyatt - potty trained in a few days about a month ago.  The first two days, he had a few accidents.  Then, he flat out refused to have anything to do with the potty, and held his pee for more than 6 hours from waking up in the morning until I put a diaper on at his nap time.  I was getting frustrated with the process, and said to him, "You're totally gonna pee in this diaper as soon as I put it on, aren't you?".  His response?  "No...I'm gonna wait until you leave (the room), then I'm gonna pee".  I walked away ready to explode, but then after I closed the door, I busted out laughing.  S.T.U.B.B.O.R.N boy, my Wyatt.  After that first week, he has totally ROCKED potty training.  Now he wakes, pulls off his own diaper, and uses the toilet right at the beginning of the morning.  He is also diaper-free at nap, as of about 10 days ago.  All in his own timing!  And someday....he'll wear underwear, instead of just going commando.  Again...all in his own timing :)
I also love the way Wyatt says banana.  He calls it a "ba-man-a". 

Nate - his language has just exploded!  He talks all the time, in mostly complete sentences, and has been pretty adamant about expressing what he wants/how he feels.  He is our "spit-fire" ~ going from 0 to 100 mph in seconds flat.  He wakes up jabbering, and goes to sleep much of the same way.  He is always on the move.  Might explain why he is still so little for his age.  At 20 months, he weighed in at 21 lbs and was 33 inches long.  He is falling off of the growth chart.  I've heard two different peds toss around "failure to thrive" a few times, if he continues to stay at the same weight, or loses anything.  So for a few days following his most recent dr. visit, I made myself crazy with trying to force him to eat (high calorie stuff with additives: smoothies made with whole milk and whole yogurt, with all kinds of stuff in it - fruits, wheat germ, flaxseed, butter, in addition to avocado.  I've also given him a supplement drink for kids right before bed, added butter to everything, etc...) and eat more times during the day.  But I was starting to get stressed about all of it, so I had to let some of it go.  He eats, and eats a LOT all.day.long.  He eats fruits and veggies, he eats proteins, and fats, and whole grains.  He drinks milk and water, and asks for more when he wants it (likewise throws everything when he is all done....how do you break that habit in a toddler?!)  We don't have a lot of junk foods in our house, so he doesn't get much of it.  What more can I do? 
Nate is wearing 18-24 month clothes, some 2T stuff, size 5 shoe, and size 3 diaper.  He still takes a pacifier for sleeping (loving called his "Nigh-Night") - and at nap he takes three Nigh-Nights (one for his mouth, and one for each hand!), and loves to play ball.  He throws overhand, and can catch too - most of our friends/family agree that he is "abnormally good" at ball for his age.  I'm all for that ~ scholarships, anyone?  :)  He is so.darn.cute, and we say that often.  He says things like, "Oh, Papa" and gives a hug when he does.  He gives kisses and hugs freely.  Most of his words start with G's.  Guck (truck - sometimes it comes out like he's got a hairball, it's hilarious!  Guuuccccck), Goggy (doggy), and Gub (bug) are a few of our favorites.  He also says "bussssssss" whenever he sees one.  He narrates life as he sees it too, which is both amazing and so funny all at once!

Everett - is 7 weeks and growing like a weed!  He is around 14 lbs, and reminds us so much of Jacob as a baby: rolls in the middle of his forearms, a hot & sweaty-boy, receeding hairline, not to mention his looks!  I'd better caption/label my pictures of my guys!  Everett has the most intense, dark blue eyes.  He just stares into mine, and I often wonder what he is thinking about, or learning.  I remember looking into those same, intense eyes the moment he was born.  He loves to be held, and loves nurse side-laying.  He just started smiling and cooing regularly.  He is wearing mostly 3-6 month clothes, but can make do with a onesie extender for some smaller things.  He is wearing a size 2 diaper (catching up to Nate! ha!) but when I'm home or out at the grandparents, I cloth diaper the younger two - prefolds and covers for E and BG 3.0s for N).  He has a fussy period in the evenings, usually between 7-8 PM, right when we are trying to get the Big 3 in baths and down for bed.  Recently, his screaming can be curbed with nursing and sleeping.  He is pretty "scheduled" ~ but all in his own doing.  He sleeps at night from about 8 or 9 PM until 1 or 2 AM, then wakes every 2 hours or so to eat after that.  I'm hoping I can push back this time to get more of our sleep lined up together...might be wishful thinking ;)  He is taking naps in our bed now ~ he much prefers being swaddled loosely with his arms out, rather than being rocked in his swing (again - so much like Jacob!).  He is by far our most "pukey" baby.  Yesterday was a first for me in motherhood: I got baby puke in my hair (and pretty much all down my shirt and his - we were a mess).  I guess that's not too bad for our fourth, huh?

::

We have some exciting things happening in our lives, and coming up this summer.  I can't wait to post more about it, soon! 

38.5 weeks

I am finally feeling heatlhy enough for labor - I got a Zpak and an inhaler, and I am about 90% recovered from the upper respitory junk at this point, hallelujah!  My primary care doc thought my right lung sounded a bit "junky" and wasn't clearing when I coughed (probably due to there not being an incredible amount of space in there currently).

I have definitely felt a lot more contractions this week, mostly in the evenings, but sometimes throughout the day too.  The baby is definitely lower, so maybe I've "dropped"?  Never noticed that with the boys, and can't say that I can this time either.  I think I've started to lose my mucous plug over the last 2 days too (also something I never noticed with the other three).  Dr. L is right ~ I'm definitely more in tune to things, and how we're progressing toward delivery.

I had a 38 week appt with Dr. T this week (one of Dr. L's several partners) and she thought I am around 1 cm and 30% effaced.  I'm not worried nor am I surprised ~ 'I'm usually a 40-weeker' is my mantra to myself and to others.  But Tim and I both feel that this baby will come a bit early.....of course I'm writing that down, and I'll probably laugh at my words later :)

My bag is packed, minus a few last minute things - but my list is made for those.  I have a few small gifts to wrap for the boys, and I will pack a bag for them as well.  I also would love to clean out the van, rearrange seats, and add the baby's in there, but if that project doesn't happen prior to the birth, I'm okay with that. 

:::
Every day the boys wake up saying, "We have to go to the hospital to pick up the new baby!".  Jacob asks "what number are we on?", meaning what date is it ~ so that he can organize how close we are to the baby/Spring/going up north with his grandparents/going to Chicago with my mom on the train.  I love to see how his brain works!

:::

Nate turned 18 months this week ~ and he is SO much fun and yet SO ornery at the same time!  His favorite words are "Papa" and "NO" currently.  He is talking in concepts and short sentences ('There's a car' and 'where'd Daddy go?') and can follow directions fairly well.  He is sooooo very busy.  His newest experience has been to pull chairs over to places - countertops, kitchen tables, light switches, things hanging on the walls, etc and climb or see how the items work, turn the water on in the sink....you name it, the kid is doing it!  He is into everything.....no wonder he sleeps 15 hours a day!  (12 at night, 1in the morning, 2 in the afternoon).
He loves to eat, but doesn't care to sit in his high chair much.  We call him "no butt" because he is so skinny, his pants fall off of him!  He loves to run after his brothers, and one of his favorite hobbies is throwing everything.  He calls my belly a "bah-boo" (combination of belly button and baby, I think?) and will lift everyone's shirt to look at their bah-boos too....
He is still very much a Mama's boy, though he loves when his Daddy comes through the door from work!  He LOVES his Papas to pieces and will screech their names for hours when we are at their houses, or if we are in church (my dad is a pastor and sits in the front on Sundays....very convenient for Nate, who is always looking for him, but not so much for those of us who are trying to worship/hear/pay attention/not laugh during service!)
I am excited to see him as a big brother.  I know he will do great, and I am praying that the transition for him is an easy one ~ that he will know his parents still love him, that he will not feel 'replaced' or that we don't pay enough attention to him.  In fact, this is my prayer for all of my boys in the upcoming days/weeks/months/years to come....

:::

We had a "dance party" at church yesterday, and one of the memories I want to tuck away is dancing with each of my boys. 
Wyatt and I slow danced ~ and all I could think of was how I will do that with him again some day at his wedding reception.  My sweet three year old boy, in my arms, twirling around to 'Lady in Red'....with his little diapered bum, and sweet soft skin, long eyelashes, and belly laugh as we spun around and around....oh my heart! 

I love my family.  (even when it doesn't always seem so), I am thankful, every single day.

The Sick

Our family has been hit hard this week with The Sick.  Coughs, runny noses, sinus pain/congestion, fevers, and generally feeling icky has had us all down and out. 

Jacob has had fevers on and off, and now a yucky cough.
Wyatt has a yucky cough, a runny nose, and a sty in his eye.
Nate, oh poor Nate.  He's had it the worst: fevers on and off for a week, runny nose, horrible cough that doesn't let him sleep, pink eye, and knock-down lethargy.  Plus he's popping some molars and a few other teeth through that I'm sure are adding to his misery.  There were several days this week when my poor littlest dude just laid on the couch, propped on a pillow with his eyes half open, trying to partake in some semblance of life.  He even fell asleep at one point, on the couch, while I was running the vacuum next to him.  He has been wanting and needing lots of cuddles, and has spent many-a-nights/naps/whenever with his head down on my or Tim's shoulder or chest, attempting to reserve some energy and/or breathe through his poor nose.  Nate - who is our Go-Go-Go Man, has been down and out for the last week. 

We have done a lot of TV and movie watching, some game playing, and some cleaning and laundry ~ but minimal activity at most.  What a way to spend some time off, huh? 

I see the light at the end of the though - today everyone has been up and about, playing, and attempting to run around (inside)....only to find ourselves purely exhausted from a few extra loads of laundry or taking down the Christmas decorations, or a simple game of tag among brothers. 

While I love the pure simplicity of holding and loving on my boys whenever they need me, I would give anything to see their good health return!  It breaks my Mama heart to see them so sick, and me not be able to do a thing about it. 

Happy New Year.  May 2011 bring you much peace, love, joy, and GREAT HEALTH! 

Muppet Baby, No More - Nate Style

Nathaniel got his first tooth today!  Finally, at age 13 months exactly, Nate's lower right tooth has finally broken the surface.  He is definitely the latest of all three of my guys to get his teeth (Jacob was 9 months, Wyatt was 8).

No longer "Saw Gums" (the kid was seriously able to eat steak, and chop Chee.rios in half, among a long list of other foods - with no teeth) - my baby is growing up! 

Other fun things he is doing:
-Plays "Where's Nate?" and he pops out from behind his hands.  His version of Peek.a.boo.  
-Crawls over to me, saying "Mama, mama", hugs me, and goes back to the business of playing. 
-Can a ball overhand.  The kid has amazing hands, seriously.
-Pulls up and cruises along everything.
-Army Crawls as a means of his main transportation.  And he's fast.
-Says: uh-oh, dog, Dada, Mama, thank you, NO, ball, and some version of Jacob & Wyatt
-Has a predictable schedule
-Has "hobbit hair", Tim calls it.  Long-ish, straight, wispy, and golden blonde...
-Eats almost everything, and enjoys a combination of table foods and baby foods
-Wears size 12 and 12-18 mo clothes.  Wears a size 3 diaper

Happy Birthday!

Nathaniel Jude,

My darling sweet third-born son, you are a year old today.  I can hardly believe it!  Where has the time gone?  

You are my sweet, happy-go-lucky guy.  You have a (toothless, still!) smile that can melt a heart.  You have bright blue eyes and long eye lashes that you love to bat at the ladies.  You simply adore your brothers, and likewise they adore you!

You love to "talk" and have been saying: uh-oh, Da (for Daddy), DA-AH (dog), Dan (uncle), Da-doo (thank you) and general screams for happiness ~ food, your brothers, your dad, the dog, and any other familiar family member. 

You love to EAT - and you pretty much have no food that you dislike.  I can't even say that you have a favorite food, because you eat it all! 

You still nap twice daily, and sleep about 12 hours at night - 7 PM until 7 AM, sometimes a bit later on each end.  You do like to sleep, and we have been enjoying your schedule like this for the last 4-5 months or so.

You are my sweet "little" guy ~ the smallest of the three so far.  You weigh around 20 lbs (maybe a bit less), and wear size 3 diapers, and size 9-12 month clothes.  You are skinny ~ we credit it toward you having to keep up with your brothers - your army crawl has been perfected and you are quick!  You are starting to pull up, and cruise, and are starting to transfer from couch to table, or whatever object - if they are close enough together. 

You are my cuddle bug, and definitely a Mama's boy ~ you aren't happy unless you're in my arms.  I love that about you - I have very much enjoyed our relationship, and it seems to only be getting better with each passing day!  I have learned to do many things with just one hand and a baby on my hip.  I've also used my sling carrier with you ~ which has been so much fun to carry you around.  I've enjoyed our closeness over the last year.

365 days of Nate.  It seems like a lifetime, or just the blink of an eye.  You are my sunshine, breath of fresh air, and such a source of joy in my life.  I love you every moment of every day ~ and I am grateful for it all! 

Happy Birthday, sweet baby Nate.

celebrating today

Happy 9 month birthday, Nathaniel!

Today also marks my last day to say, "I have 3 boys, 3 and under"!

We've all survived. 

And, truth be told, I'm gonna miss it!

Nathaniel - 8 months

Happy 8th Month Birthday,  Littlest Man!

My happy guy

At 7.75 months (last week) - you started to crawl.  (Insert "Yikes" here!)

You love being outside, in the grass...

...or a swing.

Nathaniel, you are such a joy.  You are happy, sweet, loving, and a delight.  You fall more in love with your big brothers every day.  And I say that every month, every day, but it's so true!

You love banana, avocado, carrots, and peas.  Actually, there are no foods you don't really like...you just really love eating!

You wear size 3 diapers, are around 19 lbs (guess), and wear 6-9 or 12 month clothes. 

I love you so much!

Half a Year

I blinked, and 6 months have gone by.

8 lbs and 15 oz. have turned into 17 lbs and 7.5 oz.

Sleepy Baby has turned into sweet, smiling, laughing, screeching Baby.

We celebrated your first Halloween and Thanksgiving,

your first Fall with tons of smiles and laughter.

We celerbated the first time you rolled over on Wyatt's 2nd Birthday. 

We celebrated your first Christmas; our first as a family of FIVE!

In late January of 2010, you became a "traveling man" and learned to roll as a form of transportation. 

You haven't stopped moving since!

On January 31, 2010, you enjoyed your first bites of solid food - rice cereal.  You thought the taste was okay, but what you enjoyed the most was being able to "eat" dinner with us.  You are wanting to be just like your big brothers, and now. 

Nate, you are a happy, sweet, low-key, laid-back, bubbly boy. 

Your disposition is almost always sunny. 

I said almost always sunny! 

 But even when you cry or fuss, it's brief and it's for a valid reason (and it usually makes me laugh!).

(this is my favorite sleeper for you - it's trucks and planes, and fuzzy and zips - it was a Welcome to the World gift from Aunt Molly.  It's a 6 month size, and you are quickly outgrowing it!)

Nathaniel Jude, I am grateful every single day for the joy you've brought to my life and our family.  Thank you for being you, and thank you for allowing me to be your mother.  It is an honor to have this role.  You've blessed me in more ways that I can even count!  I love you today, and always.

At 6 months:

-You wear 6 or 6-9 month clothing

-You wear size 2-3 diapers

-You eat a meal or two of solids a day

-You have tried rice cereal, avocado, sweet potatoes, and butternut sqash

-Your favorite food is butternut squash so far, with avocado as a close runner up

-You do what we call "the right hand pat" - it seems that you are learning about your world through the quick motions of "pat, pat, pat, pat" in a rhythmic motion.  You do this while sitting in our laps, on our open hands, while you nurse, while you sit in your high chair, while you sit on someone's lap at the table, and while you're on your belly on the ground.  It's something I never want to forget, because it's so unique to you!

- We nurse and then cuddle in the evening.  After you eat, I hold you upright for a few minutes until you burp.  While holding you, you "hug" me, and run your fingers through my hair, and rub your face on my shoulder.  Sometimes you will lay your head on me.  It melts my heart, because for just that moment in time, it's just you and me together again.  It makes me think of the song, "You're Gonna Miss This", because yes, I will. 

-You had your first sick visit with the doctor 3/2/10 - you have a barking cough, and ran a 101 fever on and off during the day, along with a runny nose.  I knew it was a virus, but in order for me to sleep better, I took you in anyway.  I'm neurotic like that.  24 hours later, you still have a cough, but the fever is gone and you seem to be on the mend.  Your sunny disposition never changed, even when you felt your worst.  Because you're YOU! 

Happy Half of a Year, Baby Nate! 

The Bigger Picture

Just playing catch up at, ahem, documenting our lives.....

Jacob is starting to phase out his afternoon nap.  I'm torn about it, because I know that he needs this rest time during the afternoon and honestly...because I enjoy the respite too!  But, giving up a nap means an earlier bedtime, and possibly less messing-around-time-when-they-should-be-sleeping for the big boys in the evening.  Oh, and an earlier bedtime.  I experimented today: giving J "rest time" in our bed with a few books.  He read for a while, and when I checked on him at one point, he said, "Mom, could you get out of here so I can sleep?"  Hah!  Point taken.  It might be a while before naps are phased out completely....

Wyatt is sick, again.  Just runny nose ick and cough ~ definitely the kind of sick I'll take over that nasty stomach bug any day!  But I still feel bad for my sweet boy, he looks like he feels miserable at times. 
We met another Wyatt yesterday.  He was playing at the museum with his parents and baby sis, when I thought I overheard his mom saying Wyatt.  I asked the little boy if that's what his name was, and proceeded to introduce th family to our Wyatt.  The three big boys enjoyed running around together briefly, and well, just being boys.  It was a nice reminder that my boys are just that: typical, rough and tumble boys who don't always like to share, but certainly love to shriek, take, and head-butt!  The other mom even said, "oh, we're beyond the head-butting phase, we're now on to biting".  So nice to know I'm not alone.

Nathaniel is my sweet-as-can-be gummy-grinning Love.  (Don't be confused: I know his day will come when he is two, three, four, etc...but for now, relishing him as INFANT!).  He is plowing his way through his first half of a year.  Sniff, sniff, sniff.  He started solids on January 31.  He has tried rice cereal, avocado, and sweet potato.  I'm attempting again to make my own food.  I have to get to the store for more produce in order to maintain the goal!  We go through produce like it's water around here - the big boys can devour a whole container of strawberries in almost one sitting.  Not that it's a complaint ~ for the most part, they truly eat healthy! 
Nate is a rolling baby boy these days - he can almost travel the room, with the occasion pit-stop at an arm pinned beneath him or simply being too tired to continue.  He is napping well these days (2-3 naps per day, mostly scheduled...woot!) and last night he woke only once for a pacifier insert @ 2 AM.  Can we please all take a moment to say AMEN?!  That is huge for us - and I hope it's a trend that continues.  My trick was shoveling rice cereal in him, letting him play longer than he really needed to (eye rubbing was in full-force, woops), and then taking a quick bath with him, quick lotion massage, and a large nursing session - bedtime was at 7:00 PM. 

***

I screwed up big time with a work e-mail today.  Long story short,  I included my boss on an e-mail I only meant to send to a co-worker, and it's something I meant only for my co-worker.  I tried in vain to retract it, to no avail.  It's the "first big screw up" I've had probably ever in my 6 + years working at my current job, and I'm definitely being overly paranoid about it....but still.  I feel like a schmoe about it, and I am having a hard time letting it go.  Probably doesn't help that we have yet to hear one word from our boss about it ~ I'm assuming she's in meetings or a training and can't address it yet.  Or, it's not a top priority of hers, and we're greatly over-thinking it.  I'm hoping for the latter.  Except we've more or less owned up to our mistake, and are trying our best to be transparent about that from this point forward.  Oiy vey.  I was all worked up this morning about it....and in taking a step back, is it that big of a deal?  Probably not.

*****

We attended Michele S's Celebration of Life service on Saturday, February 20.  It truly was that: a message filled with hope, and a chance to join her family in celebrating all-things Michele!  Prior to the service, I had found myself thinking: "It isn't right to have to bury your baby" (no matter what the age), and the pastor addressed just that.  My belief is that his message was no coincidence.  Rather, that they were God at Work.  The Pastor's words were ~ "It seems more 'acceptable' when someone has lived to be 80 or 90 and they go on to be with Jesus, but in a young person's life, it doesn't seem 'quite right'".   But he painted such a beautiful image of Michele being healed, whole, given sight, the ability to walk & dance, and ride horses (her passions in her younger years) and being with Jesus that it was impossible to think of it as "not right" - it only seemed perfect, joyous, and redeeming.  Yes, we are sad to be without her on this earth, but we have been given a great Hope that we will one day be reunited with her again, if we believe in and have a relationship with Jesus. 

The phasing out of naps?  The little cold that is plaguing my second baby?  Complaining about not yet sleeping through the night?  That "big work screw up" from above? 
No - they truly don't mean much in the grand scheme of things....

sleep

Things are falling into place nicely here in our home, regarding sleep in our going-on-5-month old.  Sigh. I am happy to report that Nathaniel has been able to fall asleep on his own (most of the time) for naps and bedtime.  He also is (finally!) starting to stretch out his sleeping time to 4-5 hour blocks at a time.  I thought we would never get here. 


Jacob was a fabulous sleeper, from the very beginning.  He started sleeping through the night around 6 weeks, and taking 2-3 hour long naps during the day...meaning I could nap along with him.  What an amazing way to start out parenthood = rested!


Wyatt came along, and slept through the night only a handful of times by about 8-10 weeks old.  He was a more difficult baby, sleep-wise and not.  By the time he was 3 months old, I was beginning to question my sanity.  Thoughts like, "Why isn't he sleeping throught he night?  Jacob did at this age!" and "why doesn't he nap more than 30 minutes at a time?  how can I make him nap better?"  went through my head on a regular basis.  I read every book under the sun, and researched, and questioned other moms.  All the information I got back was conflicting, and essentially made me want to tear my hair out.  Wyatt continued to scream for hours, and it would be accompanied by back arching, flailing, and wailing.  He would go down screaming and wake up the same.  Nothing seemed to comfort him ~ and it led to utter frustration & exhaustion for all of us, which didn't help matters any.  He was put on Zantac @ 4 months, and almost immediately, his demeanor changed.  But...he still didn't sleep.  We lived in a haze for the first 6-8 months of his life.  And honestly, I don't remember much of his infancy.  I rarely slept more than 3 hour chunks, and had to keep up with an infant and a toddler, as well as work full time ~ and there was no resting for Mama!  In all honesty, I was angry about being so.darn.tired. allofthetime.  So....grumpiness won, mostly.  I wish I could change that about myself.  Hindsight is always 20/20 isn't it?  All I can really do now is seek forgiveness, and learn from my mistakes.


So....


When Nate was born (and even further back, into my pregnancy with him), I made peace with the fact that I would never sleep again.  Literally.  And I was okay with that, as long as I maintained my happiness.  Because, let's face it: a Happy Mama is a Happy Family.  True, no?   The simple fact that I made the choice to be happy despite my utter exhaustion made all of the difference in the world.  Don't get me wrong, it's not all sunshine and roses all of the time, but everything is so much more enjoyable this time around.  I'm loving every moment of Nate's infancy, and Jacob & Wyatt's toddlerhood.  Well, almost every moment.  But that's another post for another day! 
And what MckMama wrote recently was a great reminder that parenting small children all goes by way too quickly. 


I digress. 


Nate is starting to sleep.  On his own!  His sleep habits are forming slowly, but are definitely there.  I'm so grateful that he's getting the rest he needs.  He wakes cheery, cooing, screeching (it's his "happy sound"), and kicking.  I can see a clear pattern of wakefulness, the need to eat, and when to sleep.  We're on a schedule ~ albiet a very flexible one, but something we both need.  He likes a pacifier to soothe to sleep, and sometimes needs a soft blanket or lovey in his hands, so they don't flail and wake him up. 

Here's what a typical day looks like for us ~ if I'm home with the boys during the week, and on the weekend (sorry to bore you; I suppose it's more for me than anyone else):

6:00 AM ~ wake, nurse, nap - usually in our bed
7:30 AM ~ big boys are awake in their room, usually jumping on their beds and laughing
8:00 AM ~ all of us get out of bed
8:15 AM ~ breakfast
8:45 AM ~ play, change clothes, get ready for the day
9:30 AM ~ change Nate, nurse, nap in his crib
10:30 AM ~ awake, play, snack (big boys)
12:00 PM ~ lunch
12:30 PM ~ play, change, read books
1:15 PM ~ all 3 boys down for naps (Jacob in the boys' room, Wyatt in the PNP in the nursery, Nate in his carseat in our bedroom.  I know the carseat is not the most ideal sleeping environment, but for now it works.  He'll sleep for 2-3 hours in his carseat vs. 1 hr flat on his back.  Also I'd love to have the big boys nap in the same room, essentially freeing up our room, but that hasn't worked as well as I'd hoped, so for now, they are much better rested when they nap alone)
3:30 PM ~ wake, snacks, TV or movie
4:00 PM ~ play
5:00 PM -ish ~ Nate nurses & has a short nap, 45 min-1 hr.
5:30 PM ~ dinner as a family
6:30 PM ~ play, clean up, & baths
7:30 - 8:00 PM ~ books & bed
Nate will wake 2-3 times during the night, depending on if he's unable to soothe himself back to sleep, or if he's poopy.  He can now go about 8-9 hours without needing to nurse, usually 8 PM is the last feeding, and he can go until about 4 AM before he eats again.  He will wake between 12 & 2 AM, and again @ 4 AM.

And now that I think I've got it all figured out, it's bound to change again! 

ETA:  Yep, I should have known better than to start cheering.  N barely napped today, and only once in his crib, and now he's up from what I thought was bed for him @ 7:30 PM.  Husband wants to let him cry it out for 15 minutes...which I thought was too long, but now @ minute 11, there is silence....hmmm....we shall see! 

A year ago today....

....my eyes fell upon a positive pregnancy test, and heart became the mother of 3. A year ago today, my life was forever changed, and I am forever grateful.


I love you, my sweet baby boy!

Adventures

My Face.book status last night: "4 nights, 3 small boys, 2 long car rides, and 1 hotel room equal an amazing (and crazy!) wedding weekend. Congrats Steve & Ashley!" Many of my friends replied to my status that I'm impressive, amazing, etc. SO not true ~ I just have really low standards, ha ha!!

We took the boys to (west of) Chicago this weekend for my cousin Steve's wedding. We all survived (and enjoyed!) 3 nights in one hotel room with our many small boys. It was exhausting, yes, but lovely to just focus on one thing: our family! No dishes, laundry, work, cooking, or housework were needing attention. Just babies. Just visiting. Just having fun!
The wedding was awesome. Jacob flirted with the bride the entire night, and she was more than accomodating to his doting ~ she stopped what she was doing many times to wave or smile at him, or to come over and give him a hug. She is an amazing young woman!
Wyatt was eyes-half-mast before the end of dinner, but seemed to be enjoying the atmosphere (even half slept in Tim's arms ~ unheard of!) and Nate was his smiley, charming self. I managed to nurse him standing up in the handicapped bathroom stall (charming, huh?) and he managed to puke all over the inside of my dress for the second wedding in a row (first was my other cousin, Kelly's wedding, that I was in).
It was sweet to see my little men all dolled up (in vests! and ties!) and enjoying the excitement of the day and evening. They were starving, and therefore ate great dinners, and exhausted by 10 PM, and it took all of about 23 seconds for them to fall asleep in the hotel following the reception.
All in all, a great weekend. But oh, is it also great to be home!

::::

Milestones: Nate is sleeping in his own crib tonight. He slept in the bassinet in our bedroom for the first 12 weeks of his life, and spent the next several weeks on and off in the swing and pack 'n play in his room. We recently purchased a third crib/toddler mattress and assembled his hand-me-down crib tonight. Here's to hoping & praying that it helps him to learn to sleep through the night. I've missed several hours of uninterrupted sleep terribly! If not, then let the sleep training boot camp begin...Happy 4 months, Little Man!

So Thankful

Mama & Nathaniel on Thanksgiving, 11/26/09 (12 weeks)

Mama & Nate on his Birth Day, 9/3/09

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy 12 weeks, Nathaniel!

12 weeks

You are around 14 lbs

You wear size 3-6 month clothes

You wear size 2 diapers

You have yet to sleep through the night

You love to smile

You suck on your fingers often

You are a great conversationalist

You can fall asleep anywhere

You love your swing

You love being held

You love being worn in the sling

You are my spitty & drooly baby

You have 2 dimples

You napped with your Daddy today

You go to bed around 8:30 PM

You love the bath

You don't love your carseat, unless you're asleep

You become more aware of your surroundings every day

You melt my heart with every breath you take

It's hard to believe you've been a part of our family (on the outside of my belly) for 12 weeks, Nate. It's even harder to know just where the last 12 weeks have gone!

I love you so, sweet boy, today and always.

Nathaniel Jude, you are a delight! You are social, smiley, and everything-happy. At 10 weeks old, you are an easy-going guy. And my, how you've grown! You are currently 12 lbs, 15 oz and 24 inches long. You are wearing a size 0-3 or 3-6 month (depending on the brand) and a size 2 diaper. In general, you sleep from 8 PM-2 AM, and again from 2:30AM-4:30 or 5 AM. Not every night, but for us it works! You are (mostly) able to put yourself to sleep, with the help of a pacifier, or your fingers. We have been keeping you in the swing for all naps, but at the moment, we're trying an experiment: napping in the bassinet (in our room still)! I'm not pushing to have naps any certain place, I'm kind of hoping you'll be "the one" to sleep anywhere at any time. So far, neither of your brothers have had that ability ;)
Nate, I have to go back to work next week. And it's a bittersweet transition for us both: I will miss you (and your brothers) with every inch of my being, but I know that it will help me be a better mother to you (all). And I pray that you will take a bottle for your caregiver (your grandparents, or your dad!), lest you go hungry!
Well, experiment = failed! It seems you prefer the motion of the swing, and the noise of the living room. Ah well, you won't sleep there forever....

I love you so much, sweet boy!

Your Mom

Seven

Can someone tell me where my tiny newborn went?

Nathaniel, you have grown into an infant in the blink of an eye. 7 weeks have flown by, my sweet third baby.

At 7 weeks, you are still so easy going. You sleep, eat, smile, coo, and occasionally get fussy. You L-O-V-E your big brothers and your Daddy. You don't necessarily care for a wet or dirty diaper, but have little to say about the subject. You are wearing size 1 diapers, but I'm not buying another package in that size ~ you're growing quickly! I'm also trying to cloth diaper you (and Wyatt) as much as possible. And trying to potty train your biggest brother. Trying is the operative word here :)
You are wearing size 3-6 month clothes, mostly, with some 0-3s still. You have really big feet! And the sweetest smile....with "happy eyes" and coos to match.
You love to sleep in your swing or on my chest, but do well in the bassinet by our bed at night. You (mostly) love the sling, and are very agreeable to being toted around all over the place.
You have a short fussy time in the evenings, between 8-10 PM, but it seems to be fading out some. You will now go down for bed and sleep your first stretch for 4-5 hours. Now if only I would learn to go to bed when you do...
Both of your big brothers are smitten with you. I don't think they realize there was ever a time that you were not here. Neither do I, my love.

Your Dad & I have a lot of big decisions to make in the near future, Nate. Decisions that will affect finances, emotions, and care for you 3 boys. It's overwhelming at times, but it's also very exciting. We have a lot of possibilities, and carving out what's best for our family is a struggle. We want to provide for you, but also take into account nurturing you all. We're praying that God guides us to His plan for our family.

I love you, sweet boy. I am enjoying your babyhood, and wishing to savor every moment that I can. It's all going by much too quickly.

With all my heart,
Mama

(I'm attempting to upload pictures, but it's taking forever and/or I can't figure out blogger!)

He's Here!

We proudly present...

Nathaniel Jude
Thursday, 09.03.09
12:22 PM
8 lbs, 15 oz.
21 inches long

Total craziness -- I had an appt Wednesday, my due date of 9/2/09, she stripped my membranes, I was 2-3 cm dialted then, but cervix is far back & thick. I started having some contractions after the appt, but went to work, had some groups, etc. I zoned out during a few @ group (w/o letting on..didn't want to make anyone nervous!), and then had them on and off all night long, but was able to sleep through most/a lot of them.

They picked up at about 6:30 AM on 9.3.09, started getting a bit harder, but (silly me!) was hemming and hawing about whether or not Tim should go in to work and leave me home with the big boys. I kept praying for "clear signs" that he should go in vs. take the day off and use up a vacation day, LOL. He ran in to work to get his computer, and a few other things, and about 10 minutes before he arrived back home, I was certain he needed to be around, and was wondering what was taking so long. I was also paying bills. I'm so weird!!

Timeline of events, per my memory (which is still a bit fuzzy!):

8:30 AM, eat some breakfast, hang with the boys a bit, putz around.
9 AM, call Jamie & Steph (Tim's Brother & SIL) to give them a heads-up, ask them for help with the big boys. They say sure, bring them by, whenever...we think we have tons of time, Wyatt's labor was 22 hours start to finish, we have about 12 this time, right?
9:30 AM, I'm feeling like we need to have Jamie and Steph come to us, and pretty soon....and get on the way to the hospital. Tim is doing dishes.
9:45 AM, I take a long, hot shower and use up all the hot water. 4 + contractions in the shower in about 15 minutes.
10:00 AM, I'm exhausted, laying in the bed. The boys are jumping all over it, and me, and I'm trying my best to put on a brave face and keep them from jumping on my belly.
10:10 AM, Jamie & Steph arrive, I can no longer hold a conversation. I am getting grunty and pushy in my bed - but tell no one....I don't know why.
10:10 - 10:30, many contrax, Steph is helping me through them while the guys load the vans with our stuff and the boys & their stuff
10:30 AM, water breaks, in bed, I'm saying I cannot wait for an epidural and I'm gonna die repeatedly.
11-ish, getting boys in J & S's van, I'm trying to get out of bed without passing out, having too many contrax to walk straight. Stop to fix my hair. I'm a sweaty mess.
11:20 AM finally leave for hospital. I'm still mute, but manage to walk & wave to and blow kisses to the big boys with a big smile on my face. I love you babies!
11:45 AM, arrive at hospital (between construction on every road humanly possible - per Tim, I did not open my eyes nor speak a single word the whole way there. I was literally sleeping in between the worst contractions I've ever felt). Check in through emergency. Takes me about 5 minutes to get out of the car, due to contrax.
11:50 AM, ER staff takes me via wheelchair, asking ME "Labor & Deliery is on the 3rd floor, right?"....umm....yeah...I think you should know that!
11:55 AM, got in to a room, on monitors, checked cervix = 9.5 and I'm getting really grunty and wanting to push - told not to, OB is not yet here
12:15 PM, OB arrives, start pushing - no IVs, epidural, or other meds....holy cow! Small episiotomy needed, pushing is HARD.DAMN.WORK. Few choice words said here, in front of Mom & MIL. Classy.
12:22 PM, Nathaniel Jude arrives, BIG BOY! Repair work w/o epi or pain meds suck, but oh well! Whew. What a story, what an experience. I'm (we are ALL) still reeling over it!

Feeling great today (9/4/09), just tired, no sleep for the weary in a hospital. We will stay here until tomorrow sometime (I think?), Nate has jaundice and is under a bili-blanket. Nothing serious, just as a precaution. We are looking forward to being all under one roof again, I am missing my big boys so much!

Whew...more to come, with pictures....

Happy Due Date, Little Man.

I have loved spending the last 40 weeks together, I wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

And I am so looking forward to meeting, face-to-face, for the first time...whenever that might be!

I love you yesterday, today, and always.

Your Mommy


ETA: Non-Stress Test today = Happy Baby! OB check = cervix @ 2-3 cm, but very far back and thick.
I have an appt set for Tuesday 9/8/09, if I'm still pregnant, then we talk about induction for next Friday, 9/11/09. I don't think I'll make it until then ~ Dr. L stripped my membranes today, and "stirred things up" a bit, contractions seem to be happening about every 12-15 minutes right now, about 30 seconds long each. I've had to 'zone out' during a few (at work, ha ha!). We'll see....they could taper off, but I feel that they're doing something....